Things happened one day in December that made us lose our respect for him.

My Mom’s CEA level was down to normal level during her 5FU/Leucovorin chemo treatment but two months after her last cycle it rose to 20. Her doctor put her on Xeloda, an oral chemo drug. He prescribed her four tablets daily and scheduled another CEA test after two cycles. It was still bad news, though, because her CEA doubled. Obviously, the drug seemed to have no effect on her cancer. The doctor increased her Xeloda dosage to six tablets a day for the third cycle. After that cycle, her CEA increased still to 43. What he did is to increase again my Mom’s dosage for the fourth cycle. This time she was taking seven tablets. Her stomachaches and diarrhea worsened.

The first time I entertained doubts about this doctor was after my Mom’s CT scan before her Xeloda regimen. He was explaining that the scan showed that there are infected lymph nodes near the mesentery. When I asked him if those were the same lymph nodes which he said were inoperable, he looked at me blankly for a moment before exclaiming, “Ah, yes, they are the same lymph nodes. I have performed so many operations that I cannot be expected to recall each one.” (event #1)

During all these consultations, I kept asking him if Mom’s portacath needed any special maintenance. Every time, he would answer that there was no problem since the portacath could stay in the body for ten years. I read somewhere that it needed to be flushed regularly but I reasoned that he was the doctor and of course he knew best. I was quite mistaken, though, to put so much trust in his assurance. (event #2)

One time after Mom’s third cycle of Xeloda, my Dad out of curiosity asked the drugstore pharmacist if they had Xeloda. My Dad was so flabbergasted to learn that they sold Xeloda for only Php198 per tablet. We were buying Xeloda from the doctor at Php536 per tablet. That’s a markup of around 270%. Mom and Dad were so disappointed in him. (event #3)

So for the fourth cycle, we told him that we would just buy the Xeloda from the drugstore so my Mom can avail of the senior citizen discount and because we could use our credit card instead of paying cash. That was all the explanation we offered him (no accusation of overpricing whatsoever) but he was quick to say that he did not know how much it cost outside since he just ordered the drug straight from a dealer, Complete Solution.

During a reunion on Christmas Eve, my sister-in-law brought with her a high school friend who is now a medical oncologist. We asked her opinion regarding Mom’s condition and treatment. She explained that she did not have all the facts to make a proper diagnosis but suggested that we may have to change her chemo drug since her CEA was steadily increasing. So as not to put her on the spot, we asked her if the increased CEA level show that Xeloda is not effective. We asked her if it was possible to overdose on Xeloda. We asked her if it was standard protocol to just keep on increasing the dosage of Xeloda if the CEA kept on getting higher. We asked her if a patient who responded well to a 5FU/Leucovorin regimen can be given the same drugs but with a higher dosage if the CEA increased. (event #4)

I can only say that the response we got from her made Mom see another medical oncologist and she will be starting her Oxaliplatin/Xeloda regimen today!

I sometimes help my kids do research when they have to stay in school late and they need some materials for their assignment. I would search the web for articles they might find useful and bookmark the sites so they can read them when they arrive…saves time and gives them more time for sleep.

This time my eldest daughter was the treasurer of the Committee in charge of getting the services of a lights and sounds provider. Per school policy they were required to get three quotations. The family of the secretary of their Committee happened to own a lights and sounds company. She volunteered to get a quotation from her father, so that left my daughter with two more suppliers to look for.

My daughter had already submitted a list of possible suppliers that she got from the weddings at work directory but nobody seemed interested in contacting any of them. That’s when she asked me to help her find two more so she can finish their Committee’s budget plan. She suggested the supplier of the CFAD event, Hues and Cues Lights and Audio. I searched the web and got the contact number of Hues and Cues for her. I visited the websites of the suppliers in the list she provided her group. I also read the ratings of their previous clients. That’s when I suggested Sensitivity Lights and Sounds since they seemed to be professional, well-loved by their clients and often-referred by some event organizers and bands.

Tuesday before the deadline, my daughter and the other Committee officers met with Hues and Cues after their class at around 7:30 pm. They were impressed with Joseph Matheu, the owner, but it was obvious to them that they cannot afford him. That meeting ended at 9:00 pm and since we believed it was too late for them to take public transportation, we offered to take the group to the office of Sensitivity Lights and Sounds in Roxas District.

They met with Juancho Fondevilla, the owner of Sensitivity Lights and Sounds. Their event was scheduled on a weekday which was considered a quiet day for event suppliers, so Juancho generously offered to provide them all their audio, lights and band requirements for just P20,000 even though he had earlier quoted P30,000 to my daughter on the phone. They also needed two LCD projectors (5,000 Lumens) and screens (10 x 14), two sets satellite stage with backboards, additional boards for the main stage for their Milan fashion show and drapes with hanging crystals and beads to replicate the elegance of a cruise ship dining hall chandelier. Juancho committed to provide these for an additional P45,000. They were given a huge discount by the owner in his desire to help the students and ensure the success of their event…correctly assuming that they had limited funds. Everybody seemed to be in high spirits after the meeting which ended at midnight.

The next day, the classmate whose family owned a lights and sounds company told my daughter that her father wants a copy of the formal proposal to be submitted by Sensitivity Lights and Sounds or he will not be able to give a quotation. My daughter did not feel right about doing this but at the same time she did not like to quarrel with her classmate so she just remained silent. Even the daughter knew that what she was asking cannot be considered on the up and up because she followed it up with the comment, “Ewan ko ba kay Daddy.” My daughter wondered why they still need to see the proposed contract of Sensitivity when the daughter/classmate was among those who talked to the owner. The girl knew the amount quoted by Sensitivity as well as the breakdown. Wasn’t that enough? Did they still need a model to copy from?

The classmate also asked for Sensitivity’s website since according to her, her father wanted to see their work. She also told my daughter about her father’s advice to go to Sensitivity’s events. He claimed, according to the Committee head this time, to have attended an event that Sensitivity handled and he saw that the spotlight was not as high end as theirs. All these instances made me ask my daughter quite sarcastically if the father was a member of their Committee. I would have appreciated the inputs he had given if he, himself, was not bidding for the same contract. That being the case, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, to me it smacks of hypocrisy and bad taste.

On the morning of Thursday, the deadline for the budget plans, my daughter asked Sensitivity if they could send their proposal. But she could not wait for their email since she had to attend class. My daughter was only able to access the proposal after class. After reading the proposal of Sensitivity, she included the list of equipment and specifications in Sensitivity’s profile for the proposed budget plan.

She asked her classmate/owner’s daughter if they had any pictures they want included in their proposal. The classmate sent her a text saying that they had no pictures available and that they will just submit their itemized list of equipment if their company was given the contract. Is that standard practice nowadays? They just gave a general breakdown which was P65,000 for lights and sounds, P13,000 for satellite stage and P35,000 for the drapes. So that’s a total of P113,000 which did not include the stage backboards, the Milan additional backboards, and the stage are just covered with black cloth.

On Friday afternoon, my daughter received text messages from the over-all event officers that they have chosen Sensitivity’s proposal. Midnight of that same day, she received a text message from the classmate who owns a lights and sounds company asking for the number of Sensitivity and telling her the good news about their desire to resubmit a new and much lower quotation and, curiously this time, with the list of equipments.  The Committee head also called up asking my daughter to change the Committee’s proposed budget plan even though the deliberations had already ended since he wanted the new lowered quotation of P65,000 for lights and sounds, LCDs and the satellite stage as well as the itemized list of equipment to be included  in their classmate’s company profile. It was still higher by P20,000 though, considering that Sensitivity’s quote for the same price, included the drapes (w/ hanging crystals and beads), Milan backboards, satellite stage backboards and boxed stage. But our DSL was down that night and my daughter could not email the new proposal to the concerned officers. So she asked them to talk to the budget officer themselves to request for an extension to allow them to submit the new proposal.

Morning of Saturday, my daughter was surprised to read that the class had chosen  the classmate’s  proposal over Sensitivity’s. She learned a few days later that the father/owner, through the Committee head, had badmouthed Sensitivity, criticizing the equipment that Sensitivity will use when in fact several of the equipment brands they listed were the same brands as Sensitivity’s. The owner also supposedly advised the kids quite solicitously to be wary of suppliers who give low quotations since they cannot be trusted!  He even asked, per narration of the Committee head, how sure the class was that Sensitivity would be using the equipment with the exact specifications stated in the proposal. He also quite generously offered to waive their payment, in case they were chosen, if the class was not satisfied with them. Go figure!

According to the budget officer, the Committee head called her up at dawn and convinced her to choose their classmate’s company even if their new proposal was not included in the original budget plan and, to just go by his verbal assurances. He also voiced out the issues and concerns raised by the owner/father against their competition as if those were undisputed facts! He also submitted a new proposal for the facade/lobby decors, drapes, stage props and Milan boards for P70,000 that erroneously included the rental price for the LCDs which was already included in the new quote. When my daughter asked about this, the owner’s daughter said that it was only the Committee head who made it…implying that her father did not have any knowledge of the changes this Committee head submitted when in fact her father was on the phone with the Committee head dictating what he had to say to the budget officer. So, this Committee head was quite willing to spend extra for the drapes and Milan/satellite stage backboards when those were no longer needed if they had chosen Sensitivity.

Upon reading the new proposal they sent, I saw that they submitted a proposal that was obviously patterned after what Sensitivity had submitted. They matched the equipment and freebies listed by Sensitivity. What Sensitivity offered, they tried to offer more…that is after seeing Juancho’s proposal and only in those equipment that are non-essentials! Just like when Sensitivity offered 5 headsets for the communication, they gave 10. When Sensitivity offered free recording of the events without the cameraman with videocam, they included a cameraman with videocam. When Sensitivity offered a Korg keyboard, they gave a Korg keyboard and a Roland digital piano. When Sensitivity included a professional DJ, they included a DJ setup that included a tape deck, two dual tape decks, a mini-disk player. Wow…just a coincidence? Duh!?! Where is your sense of fair play, dear people?

But there’s more. In some cases, they made it appear that they offered more, like 32 units of par lights compared to Sensitivity’s 24 units but if you look closely at the two proposals you will notice that Sensitivity had two citilights (which cost P4,500 each compared to P350 for each par light and I got these prices from the owner’s son, himself, when the Committee had an ocular at the Manila Floating Hotel and Restaurant). Still, in cases where they cannot match Sensitivity’s offer, like the lumens of the LCD and the size of the screen (only 4000 lumens projector and 9 x 12 screen), the owner raised doubts about the other company’s ability to deliver the brands and specifications indicated in the proposal submitted.  Was that any of his business? Isn’t it up to the class to ensure that they get what they paid for?

The Committee head when questioned later about his choice, because it seems that the class wanted to lower the budget if possible, declared that he will not sacrifice quality over saving the class some P20,000. Yeah, how laudable!?!

When the Committee was asked to get new quotations from other lights and sounds suppliers, this Committee head told my daughter that he was also advised by these people he asked quotations from to be quite cautious in dealing with suppliers with low proposals. Nice move…right? Ask from the very same people you are asking to submit a quote for the same project! He also narrated that according to these suppliers he talked to, P65,000 was quite reasonable. Of course they would say that since they would be submitting quotations within that price range! Then he disclosed that if they would be getting quotes that were just P5,000 less than P65,000, he would still be getting their classmate’s company’s services.

Didn’t this Committee head understand a thing in their meeting with Sensitivity?  Was the fact that Sensitivity owned those equipment/stage themselves and would not be renting from other suppliers, hence their ability to offer a much lower quote escape this Committee head’s comprehension?  Didn’t he appreciate Sensitivity’s generous offer to let go a large chunk of the profit they can make just so they can help the class make a success of their event? Obviously not!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with asking around and being cautious, and in fact, we had given them that same generic advice before. But in this particular instance, I cannot understand why those issues are relevant when he and the competition’s daughter saw for themselves the equipment and stage in Sensitivity’s office. They talked to the owner himself. It was them who told Sensitivity what they wanted.  Everything seemed straightforward. Nothing happened during the meeting that would give even an iota of suggestion that Juancho was just a smooth talker or plain unprofessional. Juancho even advised them to look for other suppliers for the facade/lobby decors and not to just rely on the quote to be given by his subcontractor so they can have more choices. He also suggested renting sets from TV networks or movie producers in order to save more. Is that the typical response from a person whose only interest is to get a contract and make a profit?

Had the Committee head done his homework, he would have known that these people have been in the industry for 15 years. Had he searched the blogs of some of their clients, then he would have read that these people are admired for their passion for excellence and professionalism, that their clients have a high regard for them and that they are not solely motivated by profit or greed. Had he looked over their calendar, he would have seen that they had bookings for every weekend until the middle of 2009. I thought that these are not indications of a supplier who had a bad reputation. Obviously, a company would not last in the industry that long if it was dishonest, unprofessional or incompetent since news travel fast and bad news travel even faster! But, surprisingly, this Committee head thought otherwise as can be gleaned from his actions.

If those reasons were not enough for the Committee head to trust Sensitivity, there’s nothing wrong with that, too. He is the client after all, and he can choose whoever he wants. What I find baffling is that he had to voice out unfounded issues against another supplier as if it were the gospel truth. What I can’t fathom is why he would take at face value…swallow hook, line and sinker…the supposed concerns and hints made by another supplier who happens to be interested in offering a quotation for the same contract. I can’t understand why he found nothing wrong with this competitor’s request to see beforehand the competitions’ proposal? Why he tolerated and did not seem to mind the backstabbing? Why he allowed and aided a supplier, even after the deliberations, in submitting a new proposal and one that  was obviously based on Sensitivity’s quote? Why he had no compunction in destroying a reputation that one has built through the years through hard work?

If I were choosing a supplier for a party and had difficulty making up my mind, I would definitely find it suspect if one of the suppliers I am considering would approach me and ask me to show them the proposal made by another supplier so that he could make me a better deal and especially if he would, somewhere along the conversation, question the integrity of  the competition and drop hints that he is a better choice. That  definitely does not inspire confidence. I wonder how this supplier would react if the situations were reversed.

I also object to the rumor that we we’re related to the owners of Sensitivity. Hello…the Committee head and the daughter was with us when we went to Sensitivity’s office and they can definitely say that we got lost looking for the office. If I knew them personally, why did I not know their address? So for the record, we do not know the couple/owners personally and we had not met them until that night! So, who stands to benefit if the class does not choose Sensitivity? Who has been doing the manipulating? Certainly not us to both questions!

I don’t know what compelled this Committee head to act this way. But I won’t dwell into that. What I abhor is the way the classmate’s father who owned a lights and sounds company tried to get my daughter to act as their stooge! Asking her to provide them with the quotations of another supplier is offending. They should realize that not everybody consider such things as mere triviality. They rationalized this by saying that if they saw the proposal maybe they can give the same items for less. And when they were unable to match the offer of the other company, they sought to undermine the capability of the competition.  They did not think twice in raising unfounded concerns and unsubstantiated claims that tend to destroy the reputation of sincere, hardworking and honest people.

Moreover,  I do not like the way the Committee head admonished my daughter for the way she smiled (my gosh!) when Sensitivity gave them a quote that was within their budget…the way he made it appear to others that it was only my daughter who dealt with Sensitivity! This school project is not just a test of your events management skills, it also aims to let you practice what you learned in business ethics class!

Bottom line, did I write this in order to change or influence the class’ decision? Of course not! It’s their event after all and I certainly have no business interfering and imposing my impressions and thoughts on them. That is crystal clear to me! Anyway, by the time this is published the event is already a done deal.  Still having said that, I strongly believe that I am entitled to my opinion. How can I remain silent and indifferent when innocent people’s reputation is being destroyed behind their backs which gives them no chance to defend themselves?

Just my two cents worth:

If you really wish to get an honest opinion about a supplier, interview their former clients…not their competitors in the industry who are also interested in getting the same contract! Research, research, research! Almost everything can be found on the web. Would that remove the risk of hiring a fraud? Of course not! But, at least, you are better informed. It’s up to you whether to believe everything that is written about anybody. Just use your common sense and exhibit a sense of fair play and basic decency!

The brand of the equipments to be used, though important, should not be the sole factor in choosing a supplier. Experience and expertise, and of course the price are equally important. But above these, integrity should be non-negotiable! How that supplier conducts business will certainly show one if he can be trusted or not! That is, unless, your only objective is to make excuses to justify your choice to your peers!

Nobody would fault your decision if you argue that you had more confidence in a certain company or that you felt more comfortable working with that group even if the quote was not really the lowest. It is the backstabbing, manipulations, backdoor maneuvering and the like that makes a decision distasteful!

Last night, my husband told him that we had caller id although it had been out of order for some time. After a few minutes my cellphone rang. There was a message saying, “O TAWAG NA!” That was his biggest mistake. We were able to get his number. When my husband called him back he just kept silent at the other end.

I reported the incident to PLDT and gave them his number. I learned that it was the number of a PLDT wireless phone that comes with a sim card. This Bryan Botacion, a PLDT customer representative, explained that they did not have the means to identify the owner of the account. I told him to just refer me to the proper department that was capable in handling such complaints. He answered that PLDT cannot do anything about my situation and if I was that bothered by the prank calls I can just report it to the police. THE NERVE!

I demanded to talk to his supervisor. I was put on hold for minutes until a certain Ramon Andres who claimed to be their team leader answered on the other end. I complained about the attitude of his member. I told him that it did not reflect well on PLDT since their response gives the impression that they are only after getting more new customers while they cannot be bothered in protecting their PAYING customers from those who abuse their service. It all boils down to MONEY and MORE PROFIT! This Ramon apologized and asked me to have a working caller id installed and monitor and record the calls I receive from the same number…and it was only then that PLDT can elevate my complaint to the concerned department. INUTILE!

It was a futile exercise! Since PLDT is so helpless and useless, I will publish here the phone number of that prank caller so people can call him and give him a dose of his own medicine! Please help me teach this bozo a lesson he won’t forget.

His number is : 774-2683

]]> http://justtakingabreather.wordpress.com/2008/08/08/inutile-pldt/feed/ 5 iamSAHM http://justtakingabreather.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/answered-prayer/ http://justtakingabreather.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/answered-prayer/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:57:01 +0000 iamSAHM http://justtakingabreather.wordpress.com/?p=156 ]]> As of today, my Mom’s CEA level is within the normal range. Of course, it’s too early to say that she is completely cured but we are so happy that she is responding well to the chemotherapy. It’s really fortunate that we changed doctors because her chemo sessions can only be described as a breeze. She does not suffer from any side effects. Likewise, she has also gained weight since her operation. Thank God! We hope that all goes well…no unexpected complications. She still has four more sessions to go. Then it will be a series of regular blood exams, colonoscopy and CT scan to make sure that the cancer has not recurred.

My Dad with Mara

The handsome man beside my eldest daughter is my father whom I love very much. I am so lucky to be his daughter! My Mom says that I take after him in temperament, which tickles me pink, although I would always pretend to protest. My Dad would also voice his objections but really anybody can see that we’re both flattered by Mom’s observation. That’s how we are, we joke around because we easily get embarrassed when conversations turn mushy or sentimental. That’s also one reason why I blog about my loved ones because I can write whatever I feel for them without embarrassing myself.

My Dad is a quiet man. He is not a demonstrative person nor is he vocal about his feelings but one can never doubt how much he loves his family. I remember the time in college when I told him about being harassed when I got off the jeepney by a bum. He did not say anything but the next day, I was surprised to see him waiting for me at the jeepney stop. He did this every school day until I graduated from college.

On the day of my graduation, he gave me an exquisite corsage of orchids. I did not put too much store in it because first, I don’t know anything about flowers so they all appeared the same to me. Another, all the other female graduates were wearing a corsage even though theirs were of red roses, the kind that can be bought from vendors outside the PICC complex. I only realized how special it was when the rector of our university commented about it when I received the diploma. Later, I learned from my Mom that Dad had the corsage specially made for me the day before.

Now that I’m married, he spoils my husband and kids by buying them their favorite fruits and food. My kids approach him whenever they want to have a midnight snack and they are never denied their taste of McNuggets or pizza, sometimes to my dismay but I must admit most of the time to my delight because I also love these junk food. Bad mommy, I know.

That’s my Dad…thoughtful, loving and dependable. My Dad has his shortcomings but he is the perfect father for me, the best father-in-law for my husband and the ideal doting grandfather to my kids…nobody can replace him in our hearts.

Today, I surprised him and myself. At the stroke of midnight, I went to their house, I kissed him and greeted him Happy Father’s Day. Well, what do you know, he was also tickled pink. I bet there will be lechon, ice cream and cake for dinner tomorrow! Hahaha

To the greatest Dad, to my husband, my brother, my brother-in-law and to all the Dads out there, Happy Father’s Day!

It was midday and really hot when we arrived so we decided to visit the attractions with air conditioning first. We went to the 4D Discovery Theater where we had lots of fun. We looked oh so fashionable in our 3D glasses. While watching the comedy pirate movie starring Leslie Nielsen, one can see the swinging arms of the kids trying to touch the pictures that seemed to appear before their eyes. Besides the usual 3D effects, we were showered with droplets of water and blows of cold air several times which had the house breaking into guffaws of laughter every now and then.

Then we went to Rialto where the Sponge Bob movie was being shown. We still enjoyed it but after the 4D Discovery Theater it was a step down. I think it would have been more effective if they had shown a horror or scifi movie. At least, it would provide a different thrill from the comedy we just finished watching.

Enjoying the Log Jam

Outside, we were just in time to catch the opening act of the European divers. Slapstick funny but just as effective. I led my kids in joining the applause and chants egging the divers to go higher. There was picture taking with the performers afterwards but my kids were so impatient to go to the Jungle Outpost area.

I could not delay the dreaded rides anymore. My first challenge was the Log Jam. I do not know who shouted louder every time we went down the slopes because I could not hear a thing since  I, too, was wailing. They wanted a repeat but the coward in me begged off. My heart can only take so much! So off the three went and, my husband and I just satisfied ourselves by watching from the bridge. My kids promised each other that they would smile for the camera but it seems my Kyla forgot about the promise! She told us later that shouting was her way of getting rid of her jitters.

Us Before Getting Wet

We ordered pizza next since all the shouting made everybody hungry…but not until Ana and Kyla had persuaded me or coerced would be more like it to ride Anchors Away first. They were excited while still in the line and wanted to ride at the end of the ship but had a change of heart when we got closer. They told me that the second to the last row was the place to be. I could see that they were nervous so I assured them that the ride was peanuts. Fortunately, they did not see my knees shaking. Good thing, too, that the group before us went to the last row so we had no choice but to occupy the next one. But lo and behold, I found myself enjoying the ride…so much so that I was waving and shouting every time our end went up the air. That is until I noticed that I was the only forty-something acting like a kid. Then I had a great time laughing at the sight of Ana clinging to my sister and the way Kyla shouted almost hysterically and mechanically every time we were up in the air. Mara was not with us since she had ridden it before with me (although we were seated in the middle row during the previous visit) and she insisted that once was enough.

After pigging out, we were off to Rio Grande where they got drenched. The kids insisted on riding a second time…and that’s the time that I almost drowned to their sadistic delight. lol! We only brought extra T-shirts so we had to buy them shorts at the park at 500 pesos each…highway robbery but what did I expect…business is business! I’m grateful to my sister for bringing an extra pair of jogging pants. It was a tight fit but it saved me from wearing my wet and soggy shorts around the park. Anyway, even if I had wanted to buy a pair for myself, nothing in their stores would have fit me…except for Eldar’s, the mascot’s, robe!

The Space Shuttle was closed when we arrived. I erroneously thought that I would be saved from riding the roller coaster. But I seemed to attract bad luck that day since it opened just before the fireworks. I asked my sisters and brother-in-law to accompany us…none accepted. duh! Thought I’d have better luck with their male cousins but I evidently thought wrong because they said they wanted to ride the Wheel of  Fate, the giant ferris wheel. Cowards all of them! So mommy to the rescue again. I gave the usual pep talk…waved to an imaginary shadow below to keep myself from seeing how high we were being pulled up. Then the fast descent, sharp turns, double loops, a short respite then off again we went, everything in reverse this time…the sequence and us, too! Much more exhilarating! Then it stopped…pure bliss! My kids and I were laughing so hard because we could not walk straight since our knees were shaking. Then my sweet revenge…teased the others to death for being chicken! lol

I don’t know who had more fun, the kids or I, but I know this will not be our last time at Enchanted Kingdom.

What does that make me? Shallow? A hopeless romantic? A kid at heart (unfortunately not in body, lol)? A masochist since some of these movies admittedly make me very sad? I don’t really know. Maybe a psychologist can do better…

I’ve seen this in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and it’s not a very pretty way to live. The guy narrated that he had to eat every two hours since he no longer had the capacity to store food. He was also susceptible to choking so he had to make sure that food is broken into very small pieces before swallowing.

I do not stand in judgment for what the boy did. I don’t know his circumstances. All I know is that his attempted suicide is a call for help. I wish someone had heard his silent appeal and maybe things would have turned out differently. If maybe he had someone to talk to then his problem with his girlfriend would not have seemed so hopeless.

In this fast-paced life of ours, we sometimes become so focused in accomplishing our goals on time that we fail to see a friend or a loved one reaching out for help. Everything is on a time schedule and the people around us is relegated to the background.

Life seldom happen the way we want it. I used to be a control freak, still am sometimes. Maybe that’s why I enjoy playing Sims 2 so much. LOL. In college, I thought I would never get over my broken heart…turned  out it was my ego that was bruised…everything just seemed larger than life at that time. Fortunately, I had my friends and my parents to talk to every time I felt down.

When my daughters were in elementary, I had this schedule they had to follow when they arrive from school. One hour rest and snack, two to three hours studying and doing homework, dinner, rest or TV, then sleep. I used to get so frazzled when my kids, just before their bedtime, remember a school assignment or project they had to submit the next day. I would lecture and rant for hours which just resulted in staying up much longer. I am so lucky that I have my husband with me to rein me in. He’d get things done more quickly and my kids would be properly chastised without them feeling resentful.

Alex has helped me cope with my frustrations and disappointments. He has made me see how my life is a precious gift…the problems just pesky details that can be straightened out. My kids, in their own unique and subtle ways, have also made me appreciate being a mother. I derive my pleasure from them. Writing and reading blogs have helped me see my life in a different perspective…they made me realize how petty some of my concerns really are. Lastly, I have learned to let go…let God. No problem is insurmountable with His help.

Our relatives were surprised to see Mom looking quite fit despite her ailment. My Mom’s not shy about her cancer so she told them all about her chemo treatment and her tests which showed that her CEA (carcinoembryonic antigen) count had significantly went down from 23 to 11. Everyone should be happy about that, right? But no this tactless and insensitive uncle of mine had to make this comment in front of my Mom and cousin who had lupus, “Bakit kapag may pera ang tao, malubha na ang sakit, buhay pa rin!” Whaaaat? Can’t you just be happy about my mother’s and cousin’s good fortune. You wonder why another relative refuses to receive visitors after learning that she had colon cancer, there’s your answer…it’s because of people like YOU!

My Mom just laughed and said that God had something to do with it. She told me that she was not offended but I am and if I ever see this uncle of mine, I would do my best to let him know how much his tactless comment hurt me!

Three Reasons Why I Love Life

Mother’s Day started just like any ordinary day. My husband and I had breakfast while my kids were all asleep. Their cousins were staying here and they spent all night and dawn talking and playing (or so I thought).

We had dinner at my parent’s house since it was also their 48th wedding anniversary. Right after the meal, the children shepherded everybody to our house (we live in a small compound with my parents and youngest sister). The house was in darkness. I knew they had something planned but I thought it was some program for their grandparent’s anniversary.

When we entered the door, they turned on the lights and a shower of confetti greeted us mommies. We were told to sit in front of the TV. My daughters made two special AVPs for us mothers featuring our not so flattering pictures. Payback-time indeed!

The children of each family performed a special number for their respective mothers. My children presented me with a card my youngest prepared. I have a very loving but volatile relationship with Kyla. She’s at the stage where she has started questioning authority (mine particularly!). So we have days when we fight like cats and dogs. I was touched by what she had written…

Kyla's Card

They sang ‘Because You Loved Me’. The lyrics of the song had such an effect on me that I found myself crying in the middle of their performance. Kyla even took time to memorize the song for me. They said that the song represented what I am to them.

Mara is a dean’s lister in college. She is the oldest but acts like the baby in the family. Ana, my second, is an achiever in her school. She is the most responsible and independent and has inherited my love for dogs. Kyla, my youngest, is the friendliest and the performer in the family. She was the director of the short program they presented. I am so lucky to have such thoughtful and loving kids. My cup runneth over with love for them. Thank you Lord!